Quiet Souls of Adventure

2009 has been a difficult year. It's been a year of incredible ups and disastrous downs. I've made new friends, received emails from fans from as far away as Indonesia, was about to finally have something professionally published and then the zine went under, did an interview at FictionWritersGroup(dot)com and was so completely crippled by self-doubt that I didn't hardly get any writing done. I still wrote and I still accomplished quite a bit, but not nearly what I had planned or expected. I published this year's Halloween issue of If - E - Zine and launched the new site, finished and edited Silent Nights (a cyberpunk Christmas novel), wrote several short stories and wrote the first 147 pages of the final Xiao-tep wuxia novel, tentatively titled Broken Sorrows.

The biggest aspect of 2009 has been the self-doubt. I've previously questioned myself from time to time, but I've never truly doubted myself to the extant I did this year. It drove me to my breaking point, rendering me incapable and unwilling to continue writing, wondering if the past six years has been worth the struggles and effort. It drained me, I was constantly tired and couldn't muster the strength to plot out a single sentence. Of the few things I can do with any sense of authority and skill, writing has been the one thing I've never doubted nor have I ever wanted to doubt. I do it well enough that I've refused to be humble about it. If you do something well, you should revel in it, though without arrogance.

But this year has been particularly difficult in this respect.

I recently began a new journal after a year and a half with the last one. As I hearken back to the virginal hour of the last journal, I realize the first thing I wrote upon its pages was the personal essay I Am My Pen wherein I state "I am my pen, my destiny to spill oceans of ink."

And that, dear friends, is the rallying cry I needed at this dark and discontented hour.

I expect 2010 to be a banner year. I expect it and I demand it. Amongst plans, I will publish the 8th Annual Halloween Edition of If - E - Zine, open some venues into merchandising, write a couple scripts for short films, reorganize Black Swans with Atom Bombs Publishing as Black Swans with Atom Bombs Entertainment, finish Broken Sorrows and continue work on Moyete. I might have a few other things on my plate, as time and opportunities allow.

I will go humbly towards my destiny, but I will not go quietly.

A Special Announcement About the Future

Hey folks,

I hope this post finds all of you well. I'm a bit busy and wanted to share with everyone my plans for the future.

As you may or may not know I am the founder and proprietor of Black Swans with Atom Bombs Publishing, hereafter referred to as BSWAB. In January I published my first paper zine, called "Bleeding from the Nose, Twisting in the Wind", under the BSWAB label. In the near future I will be publishing more paper zines.


Among my many constant concerns is streamlining the presentation of my work for ease of consumption and enjoyment for my audience. As a result, virtually everything I do henceforth shall be under the BSWAB label.

Starting in August I will be revamping a few things in the hope of streamlining my material and presentation.

In August I will be re-launching TheLordShen.com (my site) with a whole new design and some added content. I hope you all will return in the future to check it out.

Also in August I will be re-launching this blog with a new design. It will still be my official blog, but with more focus.

"Sketches of Cool" will become "Atomic Swan Serials". Seeing the amount of response I received via email and comments (which, again, I thank all of you for) to the fairy tale "The Children of Gods" I have decided that the major purpose of this blog should be to present serialized stories to my loyal fans and friends. I still may throw in a rant or a poem or a news piece here and there, but this blog's focus will be serialized tales.

Nothing is currently set in stone as to what my first offering of a serialized tale will be, but the most immediate idea I have includes multiple kaiju (giant monsters like Godzilla).


In September I will be publishing the first Atomic Swan paper zine under the BSWAB label. The first issue will contain some of my journal entries, fiction and poetry all concerning my battles with Hepatitis C.


Then in October I will be presenting my annual Halloween edition of my e-zine If - E - Zine(tm): The Free Online Magazine of Thrilling Speculative Fiction! This will be the first ever MONSTER ISSUE, meaning that not only will there be about twice as many stories (I usually average 2 or 3 stories per e-zine, so this MONSTER ISSUE will have 4 or 5 stories) but there will also be at least one tale with a monster as its main focus. In fact, I think I may steal the idea of "one monster per episode" from the original Outer Limits television series and require the e-zine to feature not only some elements of science fiction, but at least one story with a monster. What do you think? Let me know!

The e-zine will also be published for the first time under the BSWAB label this October.

My plate is full, to say the least. Wish me luck and please check back for updates and leave comments should the mood strike you. Also please be sure to check out the e-zine's MySpace profile and request an add if you have a profile, too!


Thanks again to everyone for the loyal readership and let's hope things only get more exciting from here on in.


~ charles