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Everybody Must Die

Continuing my poster art series, here's a poster for my student film "Everybody Must Die". The movie was made circa 2000.

Run Like Hell poster art

Continuing my poster art series, here's a poster for Run Like Hell -- a short film I did circa 1999 while a film student at Orange Coast College.

Conando! - OR - Cactus Chef Playing a Flute

Showing support for Conan O'Brien during these difficult times.

Carousel Children poster art

Today I have for you an original piece of poster art I designed for my short film Carousel Children (2001).

Things to Come in 2010!

Quiet Souls of Adventure

2009 has been a difficult year. It's been a year of incredible ups and disastrous downs. I've made new friends, received emails from fans from as far away as Indonesia, was about to finally have something professionally published and then the zine went under, did an interview at FictionWritersGroup(dot)com and was so completely crippled by self-doubt that I didn't hardly get any writing done. I still wrote and I still accomplished quite a bit, but not nearly what I had planned or expected. I published this year's Halloween issue of If - E - Zine and launched the new site, finished and edited Silent Nights (a cyberpunk Christmas novel), wrote several short stories and wrote the first 147 pages of the final Xiao-tep wuxia novel, tentatively titled Broken Sorrows.

The biggest aspect of 2009 has been the self-doubt. I've previously questioned myself from time to time, but I've never truly doubted myself to the extant I did this year. It drove me to my breaking point, rendering me incapable and unwilling to continue writing, wondering if the past six years has been worth the struggles and effort. It drained me, I was constantly tired and couldn't muster the strength to plot out a single sentence. Of the few things I can do with any sense of authority and skill, writing has been the one thing I've never doubted nor have I ever wanted to doubt. I do it well enough that I've refused to be humble about it. If you do something well, you should revel in it, though without arrogance.

But this year has been particularly difficult in this respect.

I recently began a new journal after a year and a half with the last one. As I hearken back to the virginal hour of the last journal, I realize the first thing I wrote upon its pages was the personal essay I Am My Pen wherein I state "I am my pen, my destiny to spill oceans of ink."

And that, dear friends, is the rallying cry I needed at this dark and discontented hour.

I expect 2010 to be a banner year. I expect it and I demand it. Amongst plans, I will publish the 8th Annual Halloween Edition of If - E - Zine, open some venues into merchandising, write a couple scripts for short films, reorganize Black Swans with Atom Bombs Publishing as Black Swans with Atom Bombs Entertainment, finish Broken Sorrows and continue work on Moyete. I might have a few other things on my plate, as time and opportunities allow.

I will go humbly towards my destiny, but I will not go quietly.

Moyete Playlist

I'm working on a new novel titled Moyete. I use music a lot while writing as a meditative inducement and have a playlist of music specifically made for the writing of this novel. I thought I'd share the playlist uploaded to my mp3 player and Project Playlist account.

In case you couldn't guess by the playlist, this is a revenge novel. ;)


Amerikan Gangster by Public Enemy
Concrete Jungle by Bob Marley & The Wailers
Confrontation by Damian Marley
Cultural Wars I, II, III and IV by Groundation
Dem Rise by Groundation
E'a by Sudden Rush
Eve of Destruction (remake) by Public Enemy
Exodus by Bob Marley & the Wailers
Freedom Sounds by The Skatalites
Get Up, Stand Up (Live) by Bob Marley
Give Praise by Luciano
Guerrilla Radio by Rage Against the Machine
Hadda Be Playing On The Jukebox (Allan Ginsberg poem) adapted to music by Rage Against the Machine
Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos by Rage Against the Machine with Chuck D
Messenjahs by Sudden Rush
Move! by Damian Marley
Music is the Most High by Groundation
No Shelter (Live) by Rage Against the Machine
People of the Sun (Live) by Rage Against the Machine
Praising by Groundation
Rat Race by Bob Marley
Rebel Music (3 O'clock Roadblock) by Bob Marley
Road to Zion by Damian Marley
Roots by Bob Marley
Roots Radical by Sudden Rush
Serious Times Serious Measures by Luciano
Seventh Seal by Groundation
Sex, Drugs and Violence by Public Enemy
So Much Trouble in the World by Bob Marley
Soul Rebel by Bob Marley
Suffer the Right by Groundation
Take the Power Back (Live) by Rage Against the Machine
Testify (Live) by Rage Against the Machine
Them Belly Full (But We Hungry) by Bob Marley
Universal Mind by The Doors
Wake Up & Live (Parts 1 & 2) by Bob Marley
War/No More Trouble (Live) by Bob Marley
When the Music's Over by The Doors
The World is Troubled by Luciano
Zapata's Blood by Rage Against the Machine
Peace Frog by The Doors
Waiting for the Sun by The Doors
Crystal Ship by The Doors
The End by The Doors
Venus in Furs by Velvet Underground
An American Prayer by Jim Morrison
A Feast of Friends by Jim Morrison
Ghost Song by Jim Morrison
Make it Rain by Tom Waits
Awake by Jim Morrison
Lament by Jim Morrison
Angels and Sailors by Jim Morrison
Curses, Invocations by Jim Morrison
Dawn's Highway by Jim Morrison
The Hitchhiker by Jim Morrison
Hour for Magic by Jim Morrison
Freedom Exists by Jim Morrison
America by Allen Ginsberg feat. music by Tom Waits
Madroad Driving by Jack Kerouac
Can I Kick It? by A Tribe Called Quest
Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed
Last Great American Whale by Lou Reed
Rather Lovely Thing by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
(I'll Love You) Till the End of the World by Nick Cave
Heroin by Velvet Underground
Them Belly Full (But We Hungry) by Trial By Stone
Sacred Ground by David R. Maracle
Rattlesnake Initiation by David R. Maracle
Spirit Visions by Anakwad
'Ulalena: The Mind Reaches Out by 'Ulalena
Paikea Legend by Lisa Gerrard from the Whalerider sndtrk
Ancestors by Lisa Gerrard
Pai Calls the Whales by Lisa Gerrard
Waka in the Sky by Lisa Gerard

Ugly Sweater Xmas Party!

Just posting a pic from the Ugly Sweater XMas Party. Enjoy the holidays and Happy Hanukkah!

Gettin Ready

Getting ready for an Ugly Sweater Christmas Party tomorrow. We're hosting it. I'll post pics next Friday.

I Want A World That's Alive

For those not in the know, since the summer of 2007 I've been pursuing a series of wuxia stories, trying desperately to write them down. Wuxia is a genre of fantasy martial arts. If you've ever seen Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon then you're already acquainted with wuxia.

In the summer of '07 my cohort Jason Ho was in dire need of something to draw for his blog (http://bootlegsketch.blogspot.com/). I had had an idea in my head for a while of a character that was a wise koi fish that could speak, imparting wisdom to other characters in his world. I told Jason to draw a 'mystic fish'. I immediately began writing the background to the character... and Xiao-tep was born.

Xiao-tep is a mystic koi fish that can fly, speak and fight. He's quite adept at fighting with his famous Spear of Sorrows. From the very beginning I wanted him to live in a world that's alive. I've done pretty well in that respect, in my humble opinion. The daytime sky in this world is a mythic giant swan named Etain whose wings stretch beyond each horizon. She is being chased by her unwanted suitor, a giant black swan named Kalavata. He is the nighttime sky. And beneath Kalavata flies Zingtai the Birdwing Butterfly. She is mostly black with jewels embedded in her wings that sparkle, creating the stars of the night sky. She follows Kalavata, in love with him and happy to be near him.

As 2009 draws to a close, I've been looking back on the year and evaluating my progress. I'm not entirely happy where I'm at professionally right now. My work could and should be in every media out there. Xiao-tep is an example of this. I think his wuxia world lends itself to comics, anime, video games and printed text as well as merchandise like apparel and toys.

In other respects, however, I've also continued to grow somewhat insofar as fanbase is concerned. Not exponentially, but I've still seen growth. I hold onto that dearly.

Of all the things I'd set out to accomplish this year, the one thing I did not do was finish the latest Xiao-tep novel. Originally calling it "A Band of Dark Hearts" and now calling it "Broken Sorrows", it is the third installment of Xiao-tep's story and his last. The first installment was a 145-page novella called "Escape from the Cottonwood Chamber" (originally "The Children of Gods"). That's quite a background story!

The second installment was "The Theft of Heaven", a 450-page novel I wrote over the course of the summer of 2008.

This summer I meant to start and finish "Broken Sorrows". Alas, I've been down on my writing. I've not pursued Xiao-tep the way I should and I've allowed myself to question my skills. I've doubted myself a lot this year and I don't like it. It's the first time in my entire career this has happened.

Before writing this, I slapped what I have of "Broken Sorrows" together into a single-spaced, yet-to-be-formatted-for-publishers file. I'm 147 pages in... and still introducing characters! I won't be surprised if this novel pushes 600 pages.

On a bright note, I've finally started writing "Moyete" (originally titled "Hush Little Baby"). It's perhaps the most ambitious work I've tackled... yes, even moreso than a potential 600-page anthropomorphic wuxia novel. To help illustrate: I've even developed part of a language for this absurdist sci fi action-adventure. And I'm brushing up on my Baudelaire and Rimbaud, my Taoism and Mongol Empire and Native American knowledge for this novel.

I hope to continue writing them both.

I just needed to get some of this out.

Thanks for reading. The attic isn't clean, but it's cleared out a bit now.