Showing posts with label e-zine. Show all posts
Showing posts with label e-zine. Show all posts

Friday, August 8, 2008

Gettin' Iffy

Contrary to what I had promised last Friday, I will not be posting notes on "The Elephant Crusade" this week. I have steadily working on issue 12 of If - E - Zine: The Free Online Magazine of Thrilling Speculative Fiction! This August If - E - Zine celebrates its fifth birthday. It amazes me I've been working on the ezine for five full years. If you like science fiction, speculative fiction, slipstream fiction, horror, sword & sorcery and all that good, nerdy stuff, you'll probably like If - E - Zine.

So this week, in lieu of notes about "The Elephant Crusade", I instead present to you a video celebrating the first five years of If - E - Zine and some new pictures of Iffy the Ifreet, the new mascot for If - E - Zine.










Fear not dear reader! I will return next with with an all new story continuing the saga where "The Elephant Crusade" left off! Check back next week for Act 1 of "Song of Momoki"!

LINKS:
TheLordShen.com (home to If - E - Zine)
If - E - Zine on MySpace

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

New issue of the ezine!!!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Just a little reminder...

Sunday, March 9, 2008

If - E - Zine(tm) Issue #10

Hey folks,

As you may know, I publish an ezine of science fiction and slipstream fantasy on my website. Issue #10 of If - E - Zine(tm) is slated to be published on my site Wednesday, March 19th. It's an exciting time for my ezine. This August it will be FIVE YEARS OLD! Be sure to look for it. And, as always, If - E - Zine(tm) is the Free Online Magazine of Thrilling Speculative Fiction!










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Friday, November 2, 2007

Vikings vs Zombies Part 2 -- "Hunter of the Dead"

Sorry for the belated post today. My disrupted sleeping schedule has really thrown me off.

And now for Part 2 of "Hunter of the Dead"!


“Ordak!” Haffdann’s cries went unanswered. His hands had found the grip of a short sword and it was working well against the horrors raiding the huts for flesh. Strapped to the other arm was a shield he used to bash and push away the offending monstrous raiders.

Haffdann estimated the creatures’ numbers to be thirty, perhaps more, but seemed as a hundred score for no matter how he worked the blade against them, Haffdann could not send them to their graves.

Oil had sparked into flame. Great billowing black clouds roild before Haffdann’s eyes until he could make no sense of direction.

From out of dark mists came a form without features or with features hidden by the dark, curling fingers of smoke. Haffdann gripped his prized sword and shield, readied himself. “Come ye beast! Come be met by the steel of Haffdann the Frenzied!”
“Ho, Haffdann!” came a booming baritone from the shadows in shadowy smoke. “When last we met you were Haffdann the Pig-herder!”

Features resolved into view. Haffdann straightened, relaxing a bit, recognizing the insane Siggurd the Berserker.

“I do not know what these men are,” he said to Haffdann, “but by Tyr I’ve not had so much fun killing! They’re better than slaying Saxons!”

“You would like ‘em. They fight back.”

Siggurd stood over seven feet tall and had blazing red hair made redder still by blood and reflecting fire. His beard, as fiery as his braided mane, was shaved only at the chin and neck so as to appear his sideburns had overrun the sides of his face and hung low, braided beyond the jaw into two pointed horns that hung to his chest. In his hand he carried a war axe.

Siggurd used his free hand to slap Haffdann on the shoulder in a friendly gesture. Haffdann nearly fell over from the playful blow.

A creature melted from the darkness. Siggurd readied his axes and eyed Haffdann. “Choppy-choppy!” he said as he charged, swinging, not waiting for Haffdann. The beast’s head was cleanly separated from its body and fell to the snow, its mouth biting at the air. The headless body groped aimlessly.

Siggurd swung again. The blade sliced down through the shoulder of the headless body, cleaving through the chest and out the side of the torso. Ribs cracked and popped and half the torso fell away, its lone arm clawing desperately at the frosty ground being tainted red with what little blood the body was spilling.

With a third swing the legs came free, kicking helplessly.

“What wonderful enemies!” Siggurd bellowed. “Tyr blesses us this day with enemies that never stop fighting!”

Haffdann followed reluctantly as Siggurd pressed into the smoky shadows, spilling seas of blood.

* * * * *

Ordak stepped out of the hut, his face and furs stained with small splotches of red. Few of the monsters remained and through the choking smoke he could see Siggurd happily tending to them. Haffdann came running to his side.

“Thank the gods,” Haffdann huffed, his face now smeared with the gore of unholy battle. “Your woman… how fares she?”

Ordak said nothing. He did not so much as look at his friend. He stood silently staring at his feet, wondering.

Haffdann understood. He placed a gentle hand on Ordak’s shoulder and said, “Your sorrows are mine.”

Ordak found a wood pile and sat there. Ovbjorn approached a bow in his hand and a quiver strapped to his back. Siggurd, laughing, finished his dismemberings and joined them.

“A bow will leave you in want of a blade,” Siggurd told Ovbjorn.

“I didn’t get the chance to make that discovery myself.”

“Off hiding behind a yew tree, no doubt,” Siggurd frowned in disgust.

“Avoiding an enemy to discover the nature of my kin,” Ovbjorn defended.

Siggurd spit.

Ovbjorn gave no retort.

Siggurd looked to Ordak. “What weighs on him?”

Haffdann approached, speaking quietly, “His woman was taken this night.”

“All our women were taken this night and half our Viking brethren!” Siggurd replied in a not-so-soft tone.

“Siggurd!”

“Bah!” the berserker approached Ordak and squatted before him. “Ordak, friend, give me your ear. Now is the hour of lamentation, but in the hour that’s to follow we must choose what destiny to follow. There’s likely more of these creatures. Even if not, their origin must be discovered and our fallen brethren avenged, though they may be riding with the Valkyries to Valhalla as I speak this to you. Siggurd Saxonbane does not intend to allow this night’s bloodletting to go unchallenged. Those… beasts we met fight well and I love it. I must find more. I must find their origin.”
“There’s no reason we must think there could be more,” Ovbjorn said.

Siggurd stood, “And if we do not prepare for the possibility we will join our fallen kin. If that is your wish, then so be it. But if I am to fall to these creatures, it shall be in their hunting.”

Ordak grabbed Siggurd’s wrist and caught his attention. “What manner of beasts are they?”

Siggurd shook his head unknowingly.

“My grandfather,” spoke Haffdann, “if his tales are to be believed, told me once as a child of a creature that did not die outright for it was already dead. There are many variations on them, but they are all called draugr.”

“The walking dead,” added Ovbjorn ominously.

With that we know why they do not die,” Siggurd said. “We know our enemy better already.”

“They can never die,” added Haffdann. “except by fire and then drowning the ashes.”
“Then let’s start throwing the bit and pieces on these fires!” Siggurd called.
As they worked to pile the body parts of the draugr and their own dead kith and kin onto the fires, Ordak thought quietly.

As they watched the bodies burning, rags across their faces so they could more easily breathe, Ovbjorn spoke. “We have offended the dead. In some way we must have tread upon the sacred, now they hunger our flesh.”

“We don’t know that,” Haffdann replied as he and carried one last half-body to the flames. “I know this man,” he indicated the body as they threw it, wiggling, onto the fire. “I bartered with him for his daughter’s hand for my now dead son before the heavy snows came. These are not monsters. They were once men.”

“Who were his people?” Siggurd asked.

“The Danir over the moutains.”

“The creatures that attacked us this night, were they all once Danir?” ordak asked.

Haffdann did his best to peer into the flames and find faces. “Perhaps some, but not all.”

“Then we seek out our vengeance against the Danir. Over the mountains we go,” said Siggurd.

“No,” said Ordak, “We have a good ship and strong winds approaching to fill our sails. We ride the waters.”

“The winds will not last,” Haffdann said. “They never do. We four cannot row alone.”

“I will not leave my ship,” said Ordak. “And the waters will be safer.”

“What’s this? Does Ordak wish to run?” challenged Siggurd.

“No. Vengeance is poison curdling in my throat, but in these snows the mountains will kill us before we meet with the Danir.”

“As would four men at the mercy of Aegir.”

“I go the way of the mountains. If you three wish to join me, I ask only that you keep up,” Siggurd issued.

Haffdann lowered his head in thought, then looked up at Ordak. “The way of the mountains,” was all he said.

Ovbjorn looked upon Siggurd’s mass and his bloody axe. He wondered if they could stay instead, but knew they idea would be argued down. “I go the way of the mountains,” he spoke.

The burning pile of corpses and undead reflected in Ordak’s eyes. He watched, defeated. “I cannot fare the seas alone. Make the duties light upon yourselves: Load the rest of the bodies onto the ship and set it adrift and aflame.”

* * * * *

They worked into the early hours of the morning loading the longboat. They first unloaded every provision they could carry before piling on the bodies and ashes. Siggurd spilled oil all over the hull and bodies. They then waded waist-deep into the icy sea, pushing the ship free from shore and setting her adrift.

Ovbjorn stood on the shore with an arrow wrapped in rags soaked in oil and set afire. He shot into the air. His aim was true. The ship burned.

The four stood on the shore a long while, not speaking. They watched only.
After some times Haffdann spoke, “We should use our final hours of night to rest before we set out for the mountains.”

They all agreed.

Each turned from the shore except Ordak.

“Ordak, come,” said Haffdann.

“All that I was is now dead and gone,” Ordak spoke. “I, too, am now dead… or gone. Ordak’s people are all slaughtered and burned to ashes; his mate eaten alive but unholy monsters that were once men; his ship sinks, burning.

“I am no longer Ordak. Ordak is no more. Call me Ordak no more for he has died this day.”

Haffdann, fearing his friend losing his mind much in the way Siggurd does in battle, approached slowly and spoke softly, “Then what name takes you?”

“Call me now Urdgar, Hunter of the Dead.”

“Urdgar,” Ovbjorn’s voice was a whisper of misty morning air. “‘A Fate of Blades’,” he translated.

Siggurd slapped the now-named Urdgar on the back. Urdgar rocked under the weight of the loving blow. “Come Urdgar,” Siggurd said, “We must rest for tomorrow we slaughter.”

The mountains loomed in the distance. Cold snows began to descend in frozen fury. High on those mountains, speckled against their frosty peaks, yellow, dead eyes peered out of the darkness.

I hope you enjoyed! Watch for more tales of Urdgar the Hunter in the future!

Friday, October 26, 2007

"Hunter of the Dead" -- Vikings vs Zombies!!!

Today's post comes once more from the webpages of If - E - Zine(tm) Issue Number 9. I offer you the first two pages of "Hunter of the Dead" in which Urdgar, a Viking, finds himself suddenly thrust into a zombie-filled apocalyptic world! This is part one of two. Watch for part two next Friday! Enjoy!


“Hunter of the Dead”
© 2007 by Charles Shaver. All rights reserved.

“It was a time of Vikings. The bitter breath of Frost Giants bedeviled the landscape. On the horizon came the shambling hordes of the dead.”
- From the Tales of Ugarth

A quiet snow fell upon the small collection of huts. Haffdann and Ovbjorn, dressed in furs, busily loaded provisions onto the longboat.
“Ya think Ordak will be out soon?” Ovbjorn’s baritone boomed even as a whisper.
“Give him way,” Haffdann said. “His wife has taken ill. Let him tend to her. We can load this alone.”

“We need more hands. Our men number too few. We’ve not even enough men for the oars.”

“With this air? Feel it. A storm comes and Thor rides with it just beyond our range. We’ll not need oars so long as our hempsails hold.”

A figure exited a small hut some distance away.

“Quiet,” said Haffdann. “Ordak comes now.”

Ordak was a tall man, though not taller than the hardy lot of men he called upon for heritage. The snow packed, crunching beneath his massive feet. His mane was long, brown and like a bear’s. Where man ended draped furs began was unclear. His eyes were emeralds and his skin pale leathers. He showed some youth, though the girth of age was filling him at the waist and cheek.

His voice was like a wolf’s, husky and growling. “What’s the wind tell you, Haffdann?”

“Our viking will be met by Thor.”

“We ride with Thor,” Ordak repeated.

“How’s your woman?” Haffdann asked softly.

Ordak eyed him but said nothing.

More figures moved through the shadows of night. At first three, then ten. Ovbjorn saw them first.

“Ya think our lousy oarsmen are comin’ to help?” he asked.

“Maybe Sigurd drank them stupid and has convinced them all to an early start,” Ovbjorn said. Ordak and Haffdann laughed.

A scream came to them as a banshee’s wail in the night.

“Fredierike!” Ordak yelled compulsively. His muscles tensed, launching him from the longboat and onto the soft snowy sands of the shore. His thick thighs contracted and stretched. He ran towards his hut, Ovbjorn and Haffdann trailing behind.

Another scream, this time from another hut and male. Ordak slowed in confusion before pressing on towards his woman.

He called for his wife once more. More screams filled the night.

“Raiders!” called Ovbjorn, but Ordak was as a hawk. No shape, no form, no shadow filled his vision. Only thoughts of his woman remained. His feet dug at the snow. His muscles churned. Death was on the air, in his nose as his world went red with horror and rage.

He plowed into the hut. There he found three men naked and pale as if with illness tearing flesh from his crying, dying mate. She screamed with frenzy and fear.
He paused in horror, cursed, “By the gods!”, then his muscles rippled beneath flesh, springing him through the air. He snatched one of the pale offenders tight by the head with both hands. One hand came away full of wispy, dry hair. Unthinking, he cocked his enemy’s head back with his still clutching hand and delivered a heavy blow with his fist, hair still in his hand. The man’s jaw broke with a snap and Ordak pushed him away.

The other two pale men looked up, blood spilling and spraying from their mouths. Their eyes were pure yellow with mad black tentacles spearing towards a pupilless center. Their flesh hung loosely from their bodies.

“By the gods,” Ordak cursed once more under his breath. “By what madness hast thou spawned?”

They were on him, each grabbing an arm. Dirty, gray nails dug into his forearm. Ordak whipped about until one fell crashing away. Ordak grabbed the other by the chin and forehead, twisting until its neck popped once, twice, thrice before throwing the creature against a wall of the hut.

Ordak stood over his bloody wife. Crimson bubbles gurgled from her mouth and an open wound at her neck. Her breath wheezed once, twice then faded. Ordak felt some sense of her hover in the air nearby. When the feeling faded, something faded from Ordak’s own heart.

A small shuffling of feet whipped Ordak’s head round. The three inhuman yet human-looking creatures were moving to stand once more.

“How is this possible?” Ordak cried. He leapt from bedside to the fire beside which lay his hatchet. He it up and it slipped into a position of comfort on its own as he yelled, “I’ll rend you with my steel!”

He became a dervish of bladed wind, a wintry whorl of biting death. The hatchet, spinning, lopped off a piece of one creature’s skull. It kept coming after Ordak.
Ordak screamed, swinging, cleaving off the arm of another. It kept coming.

Changing tactics, Ordak swung low to cut the leg off the third creature at the knee. It toppled and had to crawl using it’s hand and one remaining leg, but it kept coming.

With a lifting boot, Ordak kicked at the legless one and sent it flying into a wall. The hut shook with the clangor and blast.

Each time Ordak swung he hit.

The creatures barely bled, screamed none and kept coming.

“Demon spawns of Hel!” Ordak screamed and chopped, chopped and screamed until only bits and pieces of fleshy-splattered ichor covered the walls and the floor of the hut.


Watch for Part Two next Friday!

Friday, October 19, 2007

"A Bit of Chocolate" - Complete Full Short Story!

Today's post is once more from If - E - Zine(tm) Issue Number 9, this year's Special Halloween Edition. This is the full short story. Enjoy!

“A Bit of Chocolate”
© 2007 by Charles Shaver. All rights reserved.

The small bit of chocolate was a perfect sphere wrapped in foil. Donal held it lightly between his finger and thumb, rolling it so as not to apply too much of his body’s heat to any one point and melt the contents.

The chocolate became a star became a world drifting in darkness. Donal sat at the port of a spacecraft, watching.

“Donal,” the voice was mechanically filtered. “Donal. Stop daydreaming. Get to work.”
Donal heard nothing.

In another part of the ship Captain Barris and his first mate, Evelyn Trudeau, watched Donal through security monitors.

“He’s gone again,” said Trudeau.

“For crying out loud,” Captain Barris exhaled in defeat.

“It’s not Donal’s fault. The space sensitive are subject to Space Fever.”

“I know, I know.” Captain Barris depressed a button and spoke through the comlink again. “Donal. Donal. Stop daydreaming, Donal. Donal? Are you with us?”

* * * * *

Captain Barris and Trudeau were floating in a meeting room of a space station with Dr. Iizuka.

“It’s not Donal’s fault,” said Dr. Iizuka. “Some level of stress is bound to affect everyone that comes into space. Even you, Barris. Your levels of excitement and enthusiasm, though typically not viewed as traditional stress, releases chemicals into your body that elevates your heart rate, your blood pressure, your breathing rate, a lot of things. Prolonged exposure to such elevated levels of stress will cause a certain level of wear. Endurance and metal adaptability is key to space existence.

“We try to get people who basically view space travel as a job. There’s no excitement to that which is viewed as routine, no stress. The people we look for are those that see space travel as just another day. The problem is that still relatively few people have actually ventured into space.”

“If I’ve such high levels of excitement and stress, then why keep me around?” Captain Barris asked.

“Because you’re good as a leader and perform consistently in high-stress situations. You have a good deal of endurance and adaptability.”

“What about Donal?” Trudeau asked.

“He’s just another one that couldn’t take deep space.”

“But he did well enough getting to the station.”

“Yes, but here at the station though we may be floating about in weightlessness we are still under the influence of the earth’s gravity, we are still subject in small, subtle ways to our home planet. Here we are in orbit and still attached by an unseen umbilical cord.

“But out there, in deep space, the connection diminishes. We’re all as children taking its first steps: shaky and nervous and capable of falling flat on our faces.
“Again, it’s not Donal’s fault.”

“But he’s the third mathematician that’s gone off on us like this,” Captain Barris said. “And the seventh crew member in total. There has to be a fault somewhere and I’m beginning to think it’s not all physiological.”

“How do you mean?” asked Dr. Iizuka.

“If more than one person is experiencing problems, than its cause is likely to be some common aspect of our humanity. We may each have different backgrounds but we all go through the same rigorous training which means our training is in some way deficient in that its not catching and filtering out whatever is causing us problems once we get into deep space. Our training is not screening for something.”

“But what?” asked Trudeau. “We go through some of the toughest training on earth and in space.”

“It has to be something we don’t yet know about,” Captain Barris answered.

“From what Donal told me he was having trouble identifying an object he was looking at. I think he might have been hallucinating. He says he doesn’t remember you calling to him. He was essentially catatonic which leads me to believe he may be suffering from some sort of schizoaffective disorder. In fact, all of the people that have suffered from ‘Space Fever’ have displayed similar symptoms.”

“Why doesn’t our training screen for such a thing?” asked Trudeau.

“It’s not that easy. While all the elements may be preset within a person, there must be a triggering event for the disorder to manifest itself.”

“The triggering event is then somewhere within the deep space screening,” suggested Trudeau.

“It would seem,” confirmed Dr. Iizuka.

“So it could be physiological, after all?” asked Captain Barris.

“It could be a lot of things,” Dr. Iizuka said.

“What I was getting at earlier,” said Captain Barris, “is that it could be something within our society. Something so obvious that we’ve not thought about it.

“It’s been nearly a century since the first manned space flight. And just now we’re gathering a team for Mars. Why would it take so long for us to be reaching out to our neighbor? Technology doesn’t develop that slowly unless it’s stifled with a lack of interest or funding. The private sector didn’t get involved until cash prizes were involved, then the private sector even spent more money than the prizes were worth.

“That only suggests money wasn’t a motivator. That leaves a lack of interest. Humanity simply isn’t interested in space exploration or advancing itself.

“Dr. Iizuka, you mentioned an ‘unseen umbilical’. Maybe you weren’t far off. Maybe when we feel gravity slip from us we snap, pardon the expression. We’re all birds leaving the nest. Some fly, others fall and die.”

“That’s quite a bit of speculation,” said Trudeau.

“Maybe,’ said Dr. Iizuka, “but we have to entertain every idea until we come up with solid evidence.”

Captain Barris shook his head. “They’re so damned concerned about the politics of the day. I’m glad we’re up here and away from it all.”

“Is that why you became an astronaut, Captain?” Dr. Iizuka asked.

“Actually,” Captain Barris stammered a bit before he decided to be honest, “Yeah.”

* * * * *

Captain Barris rolled his eyes in boredom.

“Seems we’ve lost another one,” Trudeau said.

He watched as another prospective astronaut lolled his head about, unresponsive. Captain Barris closed his eyes. His eyelids exploded with a field of colors before his pupils. Blues and greens and reds swirled themselves into tiny spots before his eyes. For a moment he thought they looked like small foil-wrapped chocolates.

Friday, October 12, 2007

"A Touch of Rust" - Free Short Story

Hey folks,

I've been posting a lot lately. I've been working on that high you get after you've busted your butt for so many months on a project and finally completed it, in this case Issue Number 9 of the If - E - Zine(tm).

I appreciate all the comments and communications I've been sharing with many of you as of late. Feel free to keep them coming.

For today's post I offer the first two parts of "A Touch of Rust", one of the three free short stories found in If - E - Zine(tm) Issue Number 9, this year's Special Halloween Edition.

If you'd like to read the full story, you can find it at TheLordShen.com

Much love and respect,

~ charles, ed.-in-chief

“A Touch of Rust”
© 2007 by Charles Shaver. All rights reserved. No part of this story may be stored, copied or used without written prior permission from the author.

The world had turned to rust long ago. Few saw it happen, yet everyone felt it. Rust was simply too difficult to find in a city of concrete and plasma. The city was home to many things, but vegetation was not one of them.

Little Koji, however, knew of the one unique spot within the vast, sprawling city that held such rare life.

Koji exploded from the school, running through the asphalt playground into the arms of his waiting grandfather.

“Grampa! Grampa!”

“Heya, kiddo!”

They hugged.

“Are ya ready?” Grampa asked.

“Yeah!”

They were suddenly in a small, battered old truck speeding down the road, pressed on by zooming traffic and sounds of Shostakovich drowning out the world.

They passed through valleys of concrete wrapped in two-way plasma screens each stretching several stories high. From the inside they acted as windows, but from the street-valleys every building was a towering, mountainous billboard playing one channel or another, flashing some commercial or another.

They ignored the psychologically designed brilliantly flashing colors. Grampa drove, windows down despite the thick, heavy smog. Winds whipped at their hair. People stared at them from other vehicles, from behind closed glass.
Little Koji smiled at them all.

The old truck turned, diving underground, searching for a spot in which to park. Koji watched, counting row after row of vehicles. He thought they looked like sticks of gum packaged tightly, only their wrappings each different.
They found a place to park, slipped in and were off to the elevators.

Once again Koji watched, counting the floors as they passed on by. Up, up, ever up they went.

Koji spilled out of the elevator, his grandfather in tow, on the 132nd floor.
With the swipe of a card, a beep and a whoosh Grampa’s condo door burst wide.

Koji ran in, peeling off layers, spraying himself and his accessories everywhere. Here landed a jacket, there a backpack, as the little boy ran around furniture undaunted and heading for another door.

The door was made of glass and slid open. Koji could see his destination through the door as he drew near.

With a slide and a bang the door made way for the little boy. Koji came at last to stand center-stage of the big balcony, reaching high overhead to touch the golden leaves and bark of a tree all aglow with the fires of Autumn. The tree chattered at him with happy refrain, its leaves rustling on self-made winds.

* * * * *

Later that afternoon Koji and Grampa sat at a small table beneath the tree eating snack cakes and drinking apple juice.

“Grampa?” Koji kicked his feet.

“Kiddo?”

“Teacher says there’s not just one kinda tree in the world, but all different kinds!”

“That’s right.”

“What kind of tree is this one?”

“Oh, a glorious maple.”

“Glorious maple,” Koji repeated. “We read about maples in school.”

“Oh? What’d you read?”

“They’re called Acers and there’s even different kinds of maples!”

“That’s true. This one’s a sugar maple. Did you read about them?”

Koji shook his head.

“The western hall of the palace of one of the dragon gods is filled with sugar maples, all turning gold. Maples also keep bats away from your home.”

“Like vampires?”

Grampa smiled. “And vampires, too, I’m sure.”

“Grampa, why do trees change colors?”

“Well, not all trees change color, but maples do. Did you learn about chlorophyll?”

Koji nodded, smacking his lips over a small cake. “It’s what makes plants green.”

“That’s right, and when that chlorophyll breaks down in some plants, like in maples, the colors start to change.”

Koji snatched up another cake and drank his juice.

“Everyone needs a little rust in their lives, kiddo. It makes us old but… it makes us humble… a part of something bigger than ourselves.”

Koji kicked his feet. He smiled up at the tree. “I like comin’ here, Grampa.”

Laughing, Grampa said, “It’s just another place to live, kiddo. Just another box.”

“A box with a tree!”

Again Grampa laughed. “I like you comin’ here, too, kiddo.”

Koji gulped his juice.

Grampa smiled.

* * * * *

Read the rest of the story within the pages of If - E - Zine(tm) Issue Number 9 at TheLordShen.com!

Tuesday, October 9, 2007

How-To Halloween: Ideas to Help You Celebrate The Holiday

Here's some how-to videos with ideas to help you celebrate Halloween. Enjoy!

How-To Halloween Spooktacular with Madeline Merced - Part 1


How-To Halloween Spooktacular with Madeline Merced - Part 2


How-To Make Your Own Tombstones


How-To Make Your Own Floating Head Effect


How-To Make Monstrous Eyes in Your House


Brought to you by If - E - Zine(tm). Remember Issue 9, The Special Halloween Edition, is NOW AVAILABLE and it's FREE!!!

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Rocko's Modern Halloween

Here's an episode from one of my favorite cartoons of all time (well, it's in my top ten anyways). Rocko's Modern Life ran from 1993 to about 1996. It deserved more season, in my humble opinion.

See as Halloween is approaching, I thought I'd share a Halloween episode of Rocko's Modern Life entitled Sugar Frosted Frights.

Enjoy:

PART 1


PART 2



REMINDER: If - E - Zine(tm) Issue Number 9, the Special Halloween Edition, is now available and it's FREE!!!

Friday, October 5, 2007

The Mummies!

Just a reminder that If - E - Zine(tm) Issue Number 9, the Special Halloween Edition is now available and it FREE!!! Check it out here.

For this week's post I bring to you the legendary garage surf punk rock band The Mummies. They were founded sometime in 1988 or 1989 and have been going fairly strong ever since. This video is from a cable access show. The song is their take on "Surfin' Bird" by The Trashmen (which, if memory serves, was last popularized in the movie Back to the Beach starring Pee-Wee Herman aka Paul Rubens).






ADDITIONAL STUFF:

Pee-Wee Herman's performance of "Surfin' Bird" from the movie Back to the Beach


The Mummies perform their classic song "You Must Fight to Live on the Planet of the Apes". I didn't post this video because the sound quality isn't wonderful, but it's not horrible.

The Mummies website

Related Band: The Ventures

Enjoy!

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Kaiju Katana: Monster Maker(tm)

Just a reminder that Issue Number 9 of If - E - Zine(tm) is NOW AVAILABLE. Besides three FREE science fiction- and Halloween-themed short stories, it also offers Kaiju Katana: Monster Maker(tm) - a set of rules you can use to make giant monsters like Godzilla and battle them with your friends!

Check it out, won't you? Enjoy!


And remember: It takes a man to be a father!






Monday, October 1, 2007

If - E - Zine(tm) Issue Number 9 is HERE and it's FREE!!!



Hey Folks!

These are exciting times! Not only is Issue Number 9 of If - E - Zine(tm) now available as of today, but the site has a whole new look!

I'm especially excited because this issue is not only Issue 9 and Special Halloween Edition 5 (If - E - Zine(tm) is now four years old and going strong!) but it's also the First Ever Monster Issue!

What makes this the First Ever Monster Issue?

Firstly, there’s quite a monstrous amount of material for you to peruse! There's three short stories:

In “A Bit Of Chocolate” we see three space-faring scientists attempt to discover the roots of the mysterious ‘Space Fever’.

In “A Touch of Rust” a grandfather’s desperation leads him to extreme measures to convince his young grandson that there are still parts of the world where trees exist.

And in “Hunter of the Dead” we're introduced to the character Urdgar the Hunter, a Viking that finds himself thrust into a zombie-filled apocalypse! Yep, Vikings vs. Zombies!

As if that weren’t enough, Issue Number 9 of If - E - Zine(tm) is also loaded with Kaiju Katana: Monster Maker(tm)! This is a set of rules for you and your friends to make giant-sized monsters (like Godzilla, King Kong, the Zords and Ultraman) and pit them in mortal combat with one another!

Now the second reason I call this the First Ever Monster Issue is that I’ve decided to borrow an idea from the original Outer Limits television show. In their initial season the producers of the show required at least one monster per episode. After the first season they dropped this requirement and the shows' ratings diminished horribly.

With Issue Number 9 of If - E - Zine(tm) I promise, dear readers, to provide at least one story per issue (starting with this issue) that includes the appearance of at least one monster!

I also want to take a quick moment and thank everyone who has supported me and my fiction and If - E - Zine(tm) over the last four years. I also want to welcome all the new readers from MySpace. I appreciate all the support I receive.

Also, dear readers, please note that the If - E - Zine(tm) MySpace profile has some new tunes for you to listen to while at work, at home or wherever you can access the internet! It's all science fiction- and Halloween-themed right now. Help me celebrate the Halloween Season and enjoy listening!

Enough talk! Let's get to that FREE fiction!

With much thanks,

~ charles

Friday, September 28, 2007

The E-zine, New Site and The Haunted History of Halloween

Next Monday is October 1st and with it we will see the launching of my new site as well as the long awaited Issue #9 of If - E - Zine(tm). Be sure to check it out on Monday, folks.

Until then, let's all settle in and get ready for our favorite holiday, Halloween, with this History Channel documentary: The Haunted History of Halloween.

PART 1


PART 2


PART 3


PART 4


PART 5

Friday, September 21, 2007

KAIJU! KAIJU! And more KAIJU!

While doing some research on Wikipedia I came across a list called "List of unproduced Toho kaiju". For those not in the know, Toho is most famous for creating the character Godzilla. Kaiju is a general term for any giant-sized monster.

Here today I present to you the list of unproduced Toho kaiju (the pictures provided are a mix of concept art and fanart):


Film Kaiju

Bagan

Bagan, as originally slated to appear in Godzilla vs. Bagan.
Bagan is a monster that appeared in a Godzilla video game called, Super Godzilla. He was planned to battle against Godzilla in the original script for The Return of Godzilla and Godzilla vs. Bagan and he was also planned to fight Mothra in Mothra vs. Bagan, but he somehow did not have the chances to fight the two kaiju. There is a kaiju that has a similar appearance to Bagan named Monster X who appeared in Godzilla: Final Wars.

Ghost Godzilla

Ghost Godzilla was the spirit of the Godzilla killed by the Oxygen Destroyer. He was planned for a film called "Godzilla vs. Ghost Godzilla" (also referred to as "Godzilla vs. Godzilla") that was dropped in favor of "Godzilla vs. Destroyah". In the film he would have rematerialized and fought Godzilla at several points across Japan during the film. The outcome allegedly had Ghost Godzilla kill Godzilla and then fade away but the full details are unknown. This idea came about as a result of Toho wanting Godzilla to be the one to kill himself.

Gigamoth

Gigamoth was originally meant to be a pollution spawned dark twin of Mothra, possessing similar powers to Hedorah. He was to appear in Godzilla vs. Mothra (1992), but was later replaced with Battra.

Deutalios

Deutalios is a rat-like monster that was originally going to be in Godzilla vs Biollante, but was scrapped in favor of Super-X2 and Biollante's first form.

Erabus

Erabus is a kaiju that was expected to appear in the planned Godzilla movie, Godzilla vs. Redmoon, but also got scrapped. She was to be the mate of Redmoon and the mother of Hafun. The Erabus suit is a modified version of Daigoro's Mother's (a Toho monster) suit.

Hafun
[NOTE FROM CHARLES: Sorry, no good pics were available at time of posting]
Hafun is a kaiju that was also expected to be in Godzilla vs. Redmoon, but he became a failed creation. He was to be the son of Redmoon and Erabus. The Hafun suit would have been a modified version of Daigoro's suit.

Hitodah

Hitodah is a kaiju that was supposed to appear in a planned sequel to Godzilla vs. Hedorah, but got scrapped. Hitodah's appearance is supposedly a mutated starfish.


Majin Tuol

Majin Tuol is a sword wielding god statue that became a failed creation. He was expected to appear in a lost project, Godzilla vs. the Space Monsters: Earth Defense Directive.

Mogu

Mogu is a red dragon-like kaiju that was supposed to be in the planned The Return of King Ghidorah, however she did not make it.

Nessie

A 1978 project was to be made about the Loch Ness Monster.

Redmoon
[NOTE: No picture actually exists]
Redmoon was a gargoyle/dinosaur like creature that appeared on the moon (hence his name) in the canceled movie Godzilla vs Redmoon, he was to be the mate of Erabus and father of Hafun. His suit was a modified version of Goliath's suit.

Satan
[NOTE: No picture exists]
Godzilla was supposed to fight "Satan" in Godzilla vs. The Devil, but did not make it, possibly from use of religious characters. It was given the go ahead after the completion of Terror of Mechagodzilla. Toho's rendition of "Satan" would've been in a form of a demonic dinosaur, shark, and lion.

Titans
[NOTE: No pictures exist]
The Titans are two separate prehistoric kaiju that were supposed to form Titanosaurus in Terror of Mechagodzilla, but they failed to appear in the movie.

Video Game Kaiju

Firelion

Firelion was a kaiju that was expected to be a playable character in Godzilla: Unleashed, but was out-voted by Obsidius along with two other kaiju made just for Unleashed. The four monsters were contestants on an IGN poll to see who would be a new playable character in the game, which ended April 20th, 2007.

The Visitor

The Visitor was another kaiju created specifically for Godzilla: Unleashed. The Visitor was controlled by the Vortakk aliens. He was out-voted by Obsidius on the IGN poll.

Lightning Bug

Lightning Bug was the final monster in the voting roster at IGN, created for Godzilla: Unleashed. He was, however, out-voted by Obsidius.

SOURCES:
"List of unproduced Toho kaiju" article
Wikipedia
Toho Kingdom (fan-site in English)
Toho (official Japanese site)
Toho article on Wikipedia
IGN Readers: Roster Vote article on IGN


Also, a quick note: Sorry I've not really kicked off any serials yet on this blog. I am genuinely working hard on this year's Halloween issue of If - E - Zine(tm) and the site re-design. I'll start posting serials here as soon as I am able.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

A Special Announcement About the Future

Hey folks,

I hope this post finds all of you well. I'm a bit busy and wanted to share with everyone my plans for the future.

As you may or may not know I am the founder and proprietor of Black Swans with Atom Bombs Publishing, hereafter referred to as BSWAB. In January I published my first paper zine, called "Bleeding from the Nose, Twisting in the Wind", under the BSWAB label. In the near future I will be publishing more paper zines.


Among my many constant concerns is streamlining the presentation of my work for ease of consumption and enjoyment for my audience. As a result, virtually everything I do henceforth shall be under the BSWAB label.

Starting in August I will be revamping a few things in the hope of streamlining my material and presentation.

In August I will be re-launching TheLordShen.com (my site) with a whole new design and some added content. I hope you all will return in the future to check it out.

Also in August I will be re-launching this blog with a new design. It will still be my official blog, but with more focus.

"Sketches of Cool" will become "Atomic Swan Serials". Seeing the amount of response I received via email and comments (which, again, I thank all of you for) to the fairy tale "The Children of Gods" I have decided that the major purpose of this blog should be to present serialized stories to my loyal fans and friends. I still may throw in a rant or a poem or a news piece here and there, but this blog's focus will be serialized tales.

Nothing is currently set in stone as to what my first offering of a serialized tale will be, but the most immediate idea I have includes multiple kaiju (giant monsters like Godzilla).


In September I will be publishing the first Atomic Swan paper zine under the BSWAB label. The first issue will contain some of my journal entries, fiction and poetry all concerning my battles with Hepatitis C.


Then in October I will be presenting my annual Halloween edition of my e-zine If - E - Zine(tm): The Free Online Magazine of Thrilling Speculative Fiction! This will be the first ever MONSTER ISSUE, meaning that not only will there be about twice as many stories (I usually average 2 or 3 stories per e-zine, so this MONSTER ISSUE will have 4 or 5 stories) but there will also be at least one tale with a monster as its main focus. In fact, I think I may steal the idea of "one monster per episode" from the original Outer Limits television series and require the e-zine to feature not only some elements of science fiction, but at least one story with a monster. What do you think? Let me know!

The e-zine will also be published for the first time under the BSWAB label this October.

My plate is full, to say the least. Wish me luck and please check back for updates and leave comments should the mood strike you. Also please be sure to check out the e-zine's MySpace profile and request an add if you have a profile, too!


Thanks again to everyone for the loyal readership and let's hope things only get more exciting from here on in.


~ charles