Friday, December 25, 2009

Quiet Souls of Adventure

2009 has been a difficult year. It's been a year of incredible ups and disastrous downs. I've made new friends, received emails from fans from as far away as Indonesia, was about to finally have something professionally published and then the zine went under, did an interview at FictionWritersGroup(dot)com and was so completely crippled by self-doubt that I didn't hardly get any writing done. I still wrote and I still accomplished quite a bit, but not nearly what I had planned or expected. I published this year's Halloween issue of If - E - Zine and launched the new site, finished and edited Silent Nights (a cyberpunk Christmas novel), wrote several short stories and wrote the first 147 pages of the final Xiao-tep wuxia novel, tentatively titled Broken Sorrows.

The biggest aspect of 2009 has been the self-doubt. I've previously questioned myself from time to time, but I've never truly doubted myself to the extant I did this year. It drove me to my breaking point, rendering me incapable and unwilling to continue writing, wondering if the past six years has been worth the struggles and effort. It drained me, I was constantly tired and couldn't muster the strength to plot out a single sentence. Of the few things I can do with any sense of authority and skill, writing has been the one thing I've never doubted nor have I ever wanted to doubt. I do it well enough that I've refused to be humble about it. If you do something well, you should revel in it, though without arrogance.

But this year has been particularly difficult in this respect.

I recently began a new journal after a year and a half with the last one. As I hearken back to the virginal hour of the last journal, I realize the first thing I wrote upon its pages was the personal essay I Am My Pen wherein I state "I am my pen, my destiny to spill oceans of ink."

And that, dear friends, is the rallying cry I needed at this dark and discontented hour.

I expect 2010 to be a banner year. I expect it and I demand it. Amongst plans, I will publish the 8th Annual Halloween Edition of If - E - Zine, open some venues into merchandising, write a couple scripts for short films, reorganize Black Swans with Atom Bombs Publishing as Black Swans with Atom Bombs Entertainment, finish Broken Sorrows and continue work on Moyete. I might have a few other things on my plate, as time and opportunities allow.

I will go humbly towards my destiny, but I will not go quietly.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Moyete Playlist

I'm working on a new novel titled Moyete. I use music a lot while writing as a meditative inducement and have a playlist of music specifically made for the writing of this novel. I thought I'd share the playlist uploaded to my mp3 player and Project Playlist account.

In case you couldn't guess by the playlist, this is a revenge novel. ;)

Amerikan Gangster by Public Enemy
Concrete Jungle by Bob Marley & The Wailers
Confrontation by Damian Marley
Cultural Wars I, II, III and IV by Groundation
Dem Rise by Groundation
E'a by Sudden Rush
Eve of Destruction (remake) by Public Enemy
Exodus by Bob Marley & the Wailers
Freedom Sounds by The Skatalites
Get Up, Stand Up (Live) by Bob Marley
Give Praise by Luciano
Guerrilla Radio by Rage Against the Machine
Hadda Be Playing On The Jukebox (Allan Ginsberg poem) adapted to music by Rage Against the Machine
Black Steel in the Hour of Chaos by Rage Against the Machine with Chuck D
Messenjahs by Sudden Rush
Move! by Damian Marley
Music is the Most High by Groundation
No Shelter (Live) by Rage Against the Machine
People of the Sun (Live) by Rage Against the Machine
Praising by Groundation
Rat Race by Bob Marley
Rebel Music (3 O'clock Roadblock) by Bob Marley
Road to Zion by Damian Marley
Roots by Bob Marley
Roots Radical by Sudden Rush
Serious Times Serious Measures by Luciano
Seventh Seal by Groundation
Sex, Drugs and Violence by Public Enemy
So Much Trouble in the World by Bob Marley
Soul Rebel by Bob Marley
Suffer the Right by Groundation
Take the Power Back (Live) by Rage Against the Machine
Testify (Live) by Rage Against the Machine
Them Belly Full (But We Hungry) by Bob Marley
Universal Mind by The Doors
Wake Up & Live (Parts 1 & 2) by Bob Marley
War/No More Trouble (Live) by Bob Marley
When the Music's Over by The Doors
The World is Troubled by Luciano
Zapata's Blood by Rage Against the Machine
Peace Frog by The Doors
Waiting for the Sun by The Doors
Crystal Ship by The Doors
The End by The Doors
Venus in Furs by Velvet Underground
An American Prayer by Jim Morrison
A Feast of Friends by Jim Morrison
Ghost Song by Jim Morrison
Make it Rain by Tom Waits
Awake by Jim Morrison
Lament by Jim Morrison
Angels and Sailors by Jim Morrison
Curses, Invocations by Jim Morrison
Dawn's Highway by Jim Morrison
The Hitchhiker by Jim Morrison
Hour for Magic by Jim Morrison
Freedom Exists by Jim Morrison
America by Allen Ginsberg feat. music by Tom Waits
Madroad Driving by Jack Kerouac
Can I Kick It? by A Tribe Called Quest
Walk on the Wild Side by Lou Reed
Last Great American Whale by Lou Reed
Rather Lovely Thing by Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
(I'll Love You) Till the End of the World by Nick Cave
Heroin by Velvet Underground
Them Belly Full (But We Hungry) by Trial By Stone
Sacred Ground by David R. Maracle
Rattlesnake Initiation by David R. Maracle
Spirit Visions by Anakwad
'Ulalena: The Mind Reaches Out by 'Ulalena
Paikea Legend by Lisa Gerrard from the Whalerider sndtrk
Ancestors by Lisa Gerrard
Pai Calls the Whales by Lisa Gerrard
Waka in the Sky by Lisa Gerard

Friday, December 11, 2009

Ugly Sweater Xmas Party!

Just posting a pic from the Ugly Sweater XMas Party. Enjoy the holidays and Happy Hanukkah!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Gettin Ready

Getting ready for an Ugly Sweater Christmas Party tomorrow. We're hosting it. I'll post pics next Friday.