12 days and counting...

In just 12 days I will begin posting 1 story a day for 5 days on my blog, ABSOLUTELY FREE TO YOU TO ACCESS!!! Please watch for it!

Why am I here?

PLAY THIS AS U READ:



Here I am 30 years old in fucken BFE michigan makin less than half the fucken standard income required to be considered impoverished. WHAT. THE. FUCK? where did i go wrong? was it because i wanted to actually LEARN at school and improve my then craft of painting? was it when i decided to gain knowledge instead of just a piece of paper that was practically promised to help me get a decent job, only to find out it'll help me only to inch others out in a fight for minimum wages? where did i go wrong? is it because im a douche that's lead himself to believe that he ACTUALLY has something to say? something important?

i ain't shit.

i am no different. i am no better. i am shit.

i thought myself the most goal-oriented individual amongst the circle of ppl i ran with. now what? now where am i? EVERYONE ELSE has not just a JOB, but a FUCKEN CAREER!

when otis college changed their curriculum for fine arts, i bailed in the hopes that i would find education elsewhere. money grew tight and tighter. so tight, in fact, i could no longer paint. i simply couldn't afford the fucken supplies. BOB ROSS IS A FUCKEN BASTARD WHORE DOUCHEBAG WORTHLESS PIECEOFSHIT MOTHERFUCKER AND IM GLAD THE SONUVABITCH IS FUCKEN DEAD AND I HOPE HIS DEATH HURT CUZ HE AND FUCKEN GRANDMA HOBBY PAINTERS MASTURBATING THEIR EGOS WITH BE-GESSO'D HANDS FUCKEN RUINED THE ART WORLD! AND SO HAVE THE OBSOLETE GALLERIES! THEY'VE ALL DRIVEN THE FUCKEN PRICES OF ART SUPPLIES TO UNFAIR AND INCOCEIVABLE AND UNMANAGABLE FUCKEN PRICES!!!


so i wake up from my fucken bullshit delusional dream and find myself living in hick-town USofFUCKEN-A without paints, without money, without career, completely unknown and horribly unwanted. i might as well drop off the face of the fucken earth. fuck it all. blow my fucken brains out. just like kurt. fuck u all.

so now im writing becuz pen and paper is SOOOO much cheaper because hoity-toity fucken ART is valuable while words and paper are USELESS. great. i've turned to the one other thing i can do (writing) and it's useless. ppl TREAT THEIR CHILDREN TO DOSES OF READING AS PUNISHMENT IN THIS FUCKEN PIECE OF SHIT WORLD!!! and i somehow expect to make a living, to find value in my heart, and touch the hearts and brains of others with this most uselss of technology called words.

words are a dime a dozen.

advice is free.

blogs are free.

speech is free cuz it has NO value.

who am i? how did i get here? where did i come from? fuck heiddeger! i'd like to bend his ass over and fucken tear his sphincter in 15 dif places!!!

i try to talk to 'friends' about this shit. know what they tell me? "you'll make it, charles."

i've been told that for more than 2 decades. 2 decades worth of experience has proven all my friends wrong. 2 decades of evidence refute their sentiments and their drippy sentimental bullshit.

i want answers.

Q: what happened to my life?

A: the generations raised by the children of the 60s and 70s - those older generations of free love and tune in, turn on and drop out - have raised a generation of idiots told they can make a difference, the first generation to plug in, log on and drop out. We believed them becuz what else could we do?! latchkey kids raising themselves on a steady diet of sitcom philosophy and pop tarts and dope and parents that stopped only long enuff to ever say "u can make it if u try".

bullshit. we now know the futility of the 60s. ahab is still at the helm and firing rockets at anything that moves. we are proof. we are the idiot masses fucking and fighting and dancing in apocalyptic sunshine. no direction. no direction. no direction. and i fear no purpose. same as it ever was.


same as it ever was.


same...


*melts back into the masses*

13 days and counting...

In 13 days (on Monday, February 12th) I will begin posting here on my blog one short sci-fi story a day for a total of five days... ABSOLUTELY FREE FOR YOU TO ACCESS!!! Please mark your calenders!

14 more days...

In fourteen days from now (Monday, Feb. 12th) I will begin publishing here on my blog one short story a day for five days... ABSOLUTELY FREE FOR YOU TO READ!!! Keep your eyes peeled!

The Countdown Begins...

Hey folks,

Let the countdown begin! In exactly fifteen days from now I will be experimenting with something new: I have been in the process of writing a total of five stories specifically to be posted for all of you to read on my blog! That's right, starting February 12th, fifteen days from now, I will begin posting one story a day for five days here on my blog. ABSOLUTELY FREE FOR YOU TO READ! All of them have some sci-fi element to them, too!

Keep watching that blog and, as always, may your aim be true.


Sincerely,

~ charles aka LordShen

New site and new look and videos at MySpace

Hey folks,


I got 4 new videos up on my MySpace showing love to some of my fave people/groups. I kept the Ray Bradbury video up cuz his words are immortal and priceless.

I also have a new site look over at TheLordShen.com

Live what you wish for the world. Support all music and all the arts, but start at home with your local artists.



peace and luv,


~ charles aka LordShen

You Can't Hang w/ Me & Iggy

I'm sitting in a Barnes & Noble and these two fucken douche-bags walked in. One's dressed for combat in camo cargos and the other's cussing like a fucken merchant marine. They're dressed in chains & jeans & florescent hair and attitude. They look all of 16.

So they went and got their chocolatey looking pussy drinks from Douchebucks, loud the whole time and talking somethin' 'bout minor social revolutions. Then they found a table and sat down Before the gung-ho motherfucker sat, he took off his leather to reveal a tee proudly emblazzoned with the name of his high school band. He sat and they both produced and began to play with Magic cards. Now they sit there quietly playing.

I wanna go over there and break their fucken noses and dislocate a limb or three.

Sorry, posers. You can't hang w/ me & Iggy.

Alas...

Not much to report. Picked up Foundation by Asimov from the library today and read the first 50 pages. That's a lot for me in a day. Still a bit down about the writing. Not the lack of, started a new short today. But the lack of interested third parties therein. I still have 5 stories out there looking to be publsihed. Go, stories, go! Meh... they won't go...


Why do mediocre douche-bags get published constantly?

Things Written

Here's a list of things I've written since xmas:


"Everything's Comin' Up Green" short story based on real-life adventures with cyberpunk addictions.

"Miasma" short story about an old man suffering from Alzheimer's.

"A Bit of Chocolate" short story about schizoaffective disorders in relation to space travel.






CURRENTLT WORKING ON:

"On teh Road to Zion" short story about a hitman involved with a job where everything goes horribly wrong.

i wasted away the day...

I am depressed. Sometimes I look around and it seems the whole damn world has moved on without me. Today I realized that I am exactly where I was 10 years ago, career-wise, except then I was in college and had no money. I now am not in college and my money situation is barely better. Everyone has a career or job or something. I was an idiot to decide to make a difference in this world. I have never sold a painting. I have never sold a story. The only money I ever made was over ten years ago, minimum wage working for someone else. Success is not measured in dollars, but success is not measured in anonimty, either.


I hate myself. I hate this place. I hate the world. I envy the faceless entity that has everything I am not. I am jealous and therefore ugly.



I am truly an idiot on the mad horizon.



Damn.

Nerves of Luke Warm Water

I have sooo many things to occupy my time, from laundry to writing to video games, and I want to do none of it today. Yet I have this strong desire to be doing something. It leaves me with a restless nervousness. Ya know what I really wanna be doing today? Making RPG characters. Or starting a new video game RPG. Or even running friends in an RPG! (I haven't done that in ages!).


Eek! What to do?!

First post

Hey folks,


First post. Just trying something new to go with the new site design and revamp. Hope things'll work out here. Cya.