Sunday, January 21, 2007

i wasted away the day...

I am depressed. Sometimes I look around and it seems the whole damn world has moved on without me. Today I realized that I am exactly where I was 10 years ago, career-wise, except then I was in college and had no money. I now am not in college and my money situation is barely better. Everyone has a career or job or something. I was an idiot to decide to make a difference in this world. I have never sold a painting. I have never sold a story. The only money I ever made was over ten years ago, minimum wage working for someone else. Success is not measured in dollars, but success is not measured in anonimty, either.

I hate myself. I hate this place. I hate the world. I envy the faceless entity that has everything I am not. I am jealous and therefore ugly.

I am truly an idiot on the mad horizon.


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